you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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