I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize