I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
