if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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