sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
