i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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