Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
