I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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