Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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