"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
