Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
