omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
