I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
