hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
