My pussy is not your playground.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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