did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
