Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
even my farts smell like vagina
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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