When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
