why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
