At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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