if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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