people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
