somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
