You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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