Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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