I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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