made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize