I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
