Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
