white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
