I seem to have left my pride at pride
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
zippers are such a cool invention
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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