So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
