forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
