He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
