I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize