wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
