she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
