Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Randomize
