I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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