I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
