Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The adults are the big ones right?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize