Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize