dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
