She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
