can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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