The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
