What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
