I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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