I should be sponsored by Trojan
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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