so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
