and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
