My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
