God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Say something about gay babies.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
