I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
