I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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