You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You're like the curious george of whores
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
