i just had sex bonerless
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
