Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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