As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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