It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
