I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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